[ava:3 months]

has it really been 3 months already? time is flying by and you are developing and learning new things everyday. it is so amazing to watch you as you change with each passing day. you are such a joy to our lives and we couldn't imagine life before you!

• you are a smiling machine. 
• you let out a little coo when you smile and we call it a laugh. it melts our hearts every time!
• you are growing just perfectly. still long and lean, but i say, enjoy it while you can. 23.5 inches tall (72%), 9.14lbs (11%), and your head is in the 3%. 
• trying to roll over, but you keep getting stuck on your arm.
• you hate tummy time, but love being on your back on your activity mat.
• you sit up well with some assistance. you are holding your head up like a champ though!
• you are sleeping through the night. going to bed around 11pm and waking up between 7-8am.
• you have so much personality that shines through and we love love love getting to know you.

i can't wait to see what the next month brings us!

Californ-I-A!

We've packed up the truck, the dogs, and the bambina. We are off to the motherland for the next 10 days. My heart couldn't be happier! But this is a long road in front of us...







- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

[ava:2 months]

Happy 2 months baby girl! You have made our lives better than we ever thought they could be. It's so fun to watch you everyday as you learn new things and develop your personality. We love you to the moon and back. xoxo

Some highlights of the babe's second month:

• she's smiling! i can't get enough of her gummy little smile. it's nearly impossible to catch on camera though.
• she got her first pedicure :)
• first road trip to idaho and montana. best road trip baby ever!
• took her first boat ride.
• slept through fireworks on her first 4th of july.
• sleeping up to 6 hour stretches at night. 
• has some hair coming in on the top of her head, finally. hopefully it will catch up to the back so we can manage the old man's hair patter a little better.
• holding her head up, tracking objects, and i swear she rolled over from her tummy to her back. only once, but i saw it with my own 2 eyes.
• still in newborn clothes...my little peanut.

we don't see the doctor for another couple weeks, so we'll see how tiny she really is then.

[road trip]

we took our first summer vacation a couple of weeks ago. we went up to idaho and montana. my mom had arranged for us to stay at a lake house in whitefish, montana for a week over the 4th of july. since i met steve he has been wanting me to see where he went to school in idaho. we figured what better time to make a trip up there than now. we are both off of work with the babe and were going up that way anyway.
first stop was lewiston, idaho. steve lived up there and played baseball for lewis-clark state college. i had never been north of boise, but it seems that north of boise is where the beauty is. i had never thought much of idaho, but man is it a BEAUTIFUL state. well, the northern half at least. so many lakes, rivers, trees. just breathtaking. we spent a couple days in lewiston site seeing, visiting with old friends, and eating yummy food.
then it was on to coeur d' alene to visit one of steve's college roommates. man, i fell in love with that place. it's just what i have been looking for. we loved our time there and it was great to catch up with old friends.
a few hours east, we found ourselves in whitefish, montana at the most beautiful home i have ever seen.  right on the lakefront, it was such a fantastic opportunity.  boat rides, jet ski's, waterskiing, wake boarding, fireworks, spud guns, glacier park, good food, friends at swan lake. it was such a great time.
i am just in love with that area of the country. we are home for a brief stay and then it's off to the motherland for a visit.  it will be great to spend time in the sun, at the beach, visiting friends, family, good eats, the OC fair. i am so looking forward to it :)
but then when we get home, it's back to work and back to the grind.  life will set in. leaving the babe to work and trying to juggle everything. it's going to be a rude awakening. i can already feel it. i have been so blessed to be able to take this time off with the little miss. i will miss seeing her little face anytime i want. but i guess that is what face time is for right? :)

*pictures to come later. it's late and i have a kid to feed...

[Getting Back Out There]

It's an adjustment having a kid. Learning what to take with you when you leave the house. It makes going places a little more involved. We have gotten out and gone hiking a couple times these past couple weeks and it feels so good to get out there again. The dogs love it, and Ava is none the wiser where she is as she snoozes in her infant wrap. Love that thing!

[i love this picture of marley watching over ava. he is very protective of her and sleeps in her room every night. melt my heart.]

[Tummy Time]

Ava is becoming more a fan of tummy time now that we use the boppy. It's so fun to watch her track objects and voices with her eyes and lift her head and turn it from side to side. We just have to be careful that she doesn't go feet over face pushing herself up and over the boppy. It's the small things in life and I love it that way. Let them be little :)

[Drunk]

This is Ava's milk coma face. It's amazing to me the physical reaction this kid has to the taste of milk. mmm, mmm, good. love this girl!

[Daddy's Little Girl]

There is a special bond between dad's and their daughters. Steve and Ava have it. I love to see them together. When we found out we were having a girl, we were both so excited. I think a little girl is just perfect for Steve and I as a first kid. At only 6 weeks old, she already has him wrapped around her little finger. I can't wait to watch their bond as she grows up.

 [first father's day :)]

[the last 2 pictures are Ava as a newborn and Steve as a newborn. Anyone else see the resemblance? I think it's uncanny]

[9+ Months In Review]

Once I found out I was pregnant, I was elated. My mind was spinning with thoughts of the future and all the fun things I would do with this baby of mine. Being the type of person I am, I couldn't wait to find out the gender so I could plan and decorate for this babe. Then by about week 7, reality set in. I was TIRED=LAZY, SICK, UNMOTIVATED. TOTAL WASTE OF SPACE. it was so unlike me. i hated it. I had freak outs that I would never be normal again. it scared the crapola out of me.
then the 2nd trimester came and I felt much better. But unfortunately, the tiredness and lack of motivation hung around until a week ago. In fact, the nursery wasn't finished until about 2 weeks ago. those of you who know me, know that is very unlike me.
Anywho, I am very glad to be back to normal, both physically and mentally. I don't mean to toot my own horn, but toot toot. I was able to lose the baby weight within about 3 weeks of ava joining us. And now I am continuing to lose the weight I was in the process of losing when I got pregnant with our little gem. Honestly, pregnancy was pretty picture perfect for us. There were definitely hormonal/emotional changes, and then the weight gain, obscene swelling of my hands and feet, the numb fingers for the last month of pregnancy, but really I can't complain. the labor process was easy breezy, i almost feel bad. But for me it's a good thing. It means Ava won't be an only child :)
So, since I was neglectful for about 9 months, I will give you a quick review of what happened during that time.
September-we found out we were pregnant and were elated. Life was fantastic. We moved out of my sister's basement and back into our house in Taylorsville. Not that I love the house, but it is nice to be back in our own place, especially with a little one on the way.
October-Pregnant life hit me. I am tired and useless. I feel sick and start living off of zofran and miralax.
November-We take a trip to Cali for Thanksgiving. We tell family and friends we are expecting. We also notice that marley has a little tilt in his head to the left. little did we know what it was...
December-I am still feeling junky, but starting to feel a little better about mid month. We find out we are having a girl! We are ecstatic!! Marley gets a cut on the left side of his head. I take him to the vet, but am told everything is hunky dory and we go on our way.
January-It wasn't just a cut on marley's head. after losing muscle mass on the left side of his head, stumbling to the left, and being more unsteady on his feet, we get a second opinion. after lots of diagnosing=$$$, turns out he has a meningioma at the base of his brain stem. It is non operable. He starts on prednisone which helps curb the symptoms. we have to decide to pursue radiation=$$$$$$$$$$$ or let him live on prednisone as long as possible (6 months) and then put him down :( HEART WRENCHING decision. Marley is my little boy. It was him and me before steve, jack, or ava ever came along. I can't watch my guy die without giving him the best chance possible.
February-I pick up LOTS of extra shifts at work (so thankful for that flexibility) and we opt to go to colorado state for a round of radiation therapy for marley. After a couple hiccups before starting, he gets his full course of treatment and we head home with high hopes of complete remission.
March-I am starting to feel big and the extra work makes me uber tired. but it's worth it to give marley a fighting chance. he is doing great after radiation. symptoms are essentially non existent. he is doing better everyday. oh yeah, i turn the big 3-0.
April-time to start getting ready for the little miss. my family throws me an awesome baby shower and we get all the things we need for the babe to arrive. we start putting it all together. i am getting so excited to meet this baby. i can see and feel her kicking. she's so close, yet so far away. my feet and hands are swelling ridiculously. my fingers start to go numb from compressing nerves. awesome.
May-i am full term and ready for this girl to come anytime. i pack the hospital bags and start thinking OMG, i am going to have to push this thing out of me! D day comes and goes and it is AMAZING! it was nowhere near as awful as i imagined. We are sent home with a happy, healthy baby girl. she is greeted at home by 2, HEALTHY four legged brothers. Our life is never the same, in the best way possible.
here are some pics of the events that transpired...

 [dinner at the cheesecake factory for the big 3-0]

 [marley after his last day of treatment in colorado]

 [the drive out to colorado. awesome.]

 [first picture of our little girl]

[my darling husband taking a picture of me after he pulled over so i could puke outside the car.]

[Ava:1 Month]

I can't believe how fast time has gone by. I find myself saying that all the time, yet it seems to fly faster and faster which makes me sad. On one had, I can't wait for Ava to get bigger. Big enough for me to braid her hair, put her in all the cute outfits I see at the stores, big enough to talk and interact more with us. But on the other hand, I know she will only be this little once and I don't want to wish this time away. I try to take advantage of every day I have with her. To love and smooch on her. To soak it all in. Her expressions, demeanor. I want to have a snapshot of every day, so I never forget anything. If I wasn't a good journal writer before, I will be now.
Ava is now 1 month old (if i wrote this on june 9th). Here are some facts about the babe.

• She is becoming much more alert and making good eye contact with us. 
• She is not a fan of tummy time unless it is laying on mom or dad's chest.
• despite hating tummy time, she is very strong and is able to hold her head up and turn on her side.
• she refuses to have her arms swaddled. she was fine with it for about the first week, and then no more. 
• she nearly refuses to sleep on her back. we put her down and she is instantly on her side. 
• we had to buy some preemie clothes for her when we got her home from the hospital because none of the clothes we had for her fit. after all, we were expecting a 9 pounder.
• she quickly grew out of the preemie clothes after the first week and is solidly in newborn clothes.
• she is great with other people holding her.
• growing like a weed, eating like a champ, although we have to wake her up to feed her most of the time.
• she has the biggest blue eyes and i hope they stay that way.
• her cry is much louder than it was at birth. those lungs have really developed well.
• that being said, she doesn't really fuss much unless she is hungry or has a dirty diaper. No "fussy" time for her...yet.
• her eyelashes and eyebrows are very light they are almost hard to see at times. 
• not a fan of bath time which is odd because i thought all babies liked bath time.
• speaking of bath time, your hair dries in a frizzy fro afterward. it's pretty cute.
• loves skin to skin time with mom and dad. 
• everyone comments on her long fingers and legs. 
• she hiccups after nearly every feeding.
• likes pacifiers once she gets them in her mouth. they usually choke her at first. 
• she likes to listen to nursery rhymes on the ipad.
• has cute dimples by her mouth when she eats. also lifts her pinky up when she eats or sleeps. 
• likes to sleep with her arms above her head.

it seems like there is new stuff everyday. most of which no one is interested but steve and i, i'm sure. this girl has quickly become the center of our universe. our very happy universe.

here are a few pictures of the babe during her first month.

 [i will explain this one...ava's grandma put her down for a nap, but forgot to take off her bib. this is how we found her when we went to check on her]

 [sleeping on daddy's chest in the hospital. her legs wouldn't straighten out for about a week]

 [jack very interested in this new addition]

 [jack giving kisses to ava. poor girl has dog slobber on her almost everyday]

 [baby toes in the grass. sleeping at dad's baseball game]

[Summer Travels]

Steve and I really timed this baby thing pretty perfectly. Ava was born in May and will have plenty of time to build up her immune system before RSV season strikes. Steve and I are off of work all summer to enjoy the sun, good weather, and time with the babe. We figure we may as well take advantage of this time off to do some good traveling.
This summer we are off for a trip to Idaho where we will make stops in McCall, Lewiston (where Steve went to college), and Coeur D'Lene/Post Falls. Then we are off to Whitefish, Montana for a week at a cabin on the lake to relax with family and friends. After a quick week home, we are off again for some divine time in California. I can't wait! Ava will be able to meet her great grandmother, more cousins, aunts, uncles, and other extended family and friends. I can't wait to dip her little toes in the pacific and dig them in the sand. It will be good for the soul!
then, it will be time to dig back into the grind. but i have a feeling it will be a little more fun with this little girl around.

[Ava:Newborns]

Ava had her first photo shoot when she was just a couple weeks old. Our friend Brittany from Stolen Moments Photography came to the house and took these darling shots for us. We love them! Anyone needing photos should look her up. She does a great job and has shot family pictures for us before. Thanks Brittany!

[i know it looks like marley is sniffing her crotch, and well, he is, but it's the best picture we could get of all of them]

[Life As We Now Know It]

quite a few things have changed since this little girl came into our lives. and all for the better. sure the sleepless nights, the cries, the spit up, the necessity for my life to revolve around my boobs isn't the greatest, but it's all for this perfect child we have.
with all that said, she really is a good baby. it took about a week or two for her real cry to set in. at first it was this adorable little whimper, but alas her lungs are fully developed and strong. she makes sure she is heard when she has something to say. she eats like a champ and is growing like a weed. being as small as she was at birth, the girl has some catching up to do. by her 1 week appointment, she had not only gained back her weight that she lost after birth, but was above 6 lbs! and by her 2 week appointment, above 7 lbs. she has leveled off somewhat and is probably around 8 lbs at this point, but we don't go back to the dr until mid july. the first set of stats we got at her 2 week appointment show her in the 0% for head, 7% for weight, but 66% for height! at least she is measuring on one of the scales. i can only hope this girl gets some height.
she has gorgeous blue eyes and a fabulous male patterned baldness with full hair in the back and little to none on top. poor girl. of course, at this point she has rubbed off some of the hair in the back and is growing a fine amount of hair on the top. hopefully before too long, it will be even all around.
she looks IDENTICAL to her dad in his baby pictures. in fact, i don't see a whole lot of me in her at all. but i can assure you, she's mine. i have the stitches to prove it.
this girl is a freaking houdini in her crib. i put her to sleep one way and when i go check on her, she has done a complete 180 and is out of her swaddle across the crib. it's crazy.
we adopted the babywise method in the first week of her life and she is a pretty darn good sleeper. for a few nights there, she was sleeping 6 hour stretches, but has reverted back to waking up once in the night. but hey, i can't complain. it either isn't that bad, or i have learned to survive on less sleep. for the first few weeks, i was sure i would never be able to function as a normal human being again.
my nesting kicked in, oh, about a week ago. somehow during the whole pregnancy, i not only didn't nest, but i was lazier and messier than i had ever been in my life. now though, i am back to what i once was and on a cleaning, organizing spree throughout the house. in fact, i want a new house so we can start fresh. maybe one in california! :)
i have been off of work for 6 weeks and it has been divine to have so much free time to spend adoring my little girl. with that said, i do have moments when i miss work and i think it will be nice to go back in 6 more weeks. i'm sure the full time status will quickly wear off, but i gotta help bring home the bacon for now.
we are leaving in a couple days for some summer travel and vacation before getting back to reality in august.  more on that later.
overall, life is grand and i love being a mom. in the beginning, there were some rough moments when i couldn't believe the hospital would allow this baby to come home with someone so unqualified. but i am finding my feet. every time i see this little girl, i get a huge smile on my face. it feels like my life is so much fuller than it was before. i think this is by far my favorite role i have had in life thus far. now i wish she would just gain a little more weight so we can put her in all the cute clothes. they don't make a whole lot of cute things that i can find in newborn size. but i don't want to wish away this time for anything. it's already flown by faster than i can believe!

[Hello world]

Meet Ava. It was a Wednesday. I had just finished up working a few night shifts and was in the middle of my days off. Steve was working graves so I was up late and slept in until about 11:30am when I woke up with some abdominal pain, cramp like. I didn't think much about it and got up to start my day. Well the cramps kept coming every 10-15 minutes, but they felt different from the contractions I had been feeling here and there for the weeks previous. I figured they were not regular, and they didn't feel anything like what I expected labor to feel like. I called my doctors just to let them know what was going on. The doctors office said I should go check in to the hospital to get checked. Thinking they were being ridiculous, I took my sweet time showering and getting ready. All the while, Steve kept sleeping as he had to work again that night. I wasn't due for another 5 days and was convinced she wouldn't come early. I woke Steve up to tell him I was going to the hospital but that I was us it was nothing and that I would be back soon. As a first time mom, I was expecting a long drawn out labor so I knew this was no big deal.
2:00pm-At my last OB appointment 6 days earlier, I was dilated to a whopping 1cm and was 50% effaced. When I checked into the hospital, I was 3cm and 80% effaced. The cramps were getting a bit stronger and closer together but I still wasn't to the point that they needed to keep me. They gave me the option to walk around for awhile and see if I dilated anymore as they would admit me at 4cm. I opted to go home and wait things out there.
3:15-As I drove home, the contractions as I now knew they were, were getting stronger, closer, more painful. Holy crap I was in labor! But I still expected it to be hours before anything really happened. For kicks I started timing these contractions on my handy iPhone app. By the time I got home, they were consistently every 2-4 minutes apart Steve was awake and getting ready for an overtime shift he couldn't get out of. He asked if I wanted him to try and find coverage, but I assured him I would be home for hours before it was time for anything to happen. He continued to get ready and by the time he left for work, I followed behind to go back to the hospital. These things were getting stronger and closer together FAST! I have always thought I have a pretty high pain tolerance, but ouch!
5:30pm-I checked back into the hospital to get rechecked and I was 5cm, fully effaced. They asked me if I wanted an epidural and it then sank in...I wasn't leaving this hospital pregnant. It was go time.
6:00pm-I was officially admitted and taken across the hall to l&d. I never thought I would go au natural during labor but thought I would go as long as I could without an epidural. That point was at about 6cm. I had a fantastic epidural which was so not as bad as I thought it would be. I had been on the other end of watching residents do spinal taps and it ain't pretty. I thought for sure it would be botched, but I couldn't have asked for a better experience. The worst part was trying to hold still with an 5 inch needle in my spine while contracting like a #%*^!
6:30pm-Around this time the staff at the hospital were trying to ask me in as nice a way as possible if I had a baby daddy coming or if i was in this all by my lonesome. I assured them I had a husband who was trying to get here from work. As the epidural was kicking in, Steve walked in as the anesthesiologist was walking out.
For the next few hours, life was good. We watched NBA playoffs while I contracted away, feeling very little of anything. Around 7cm I got nauseous which I learned is pretty normal.
9:00pm-My water still had not broken so the docs asked if we wanted them to do it. We decided to go ahead since the doctor said I could be pushing for awhile. Steve promptly left with his mom to get some food while I chatted with my sister-in-law.
10:00pm-I get checked and I'm at 10cm. It's time to push. At that moment, my mind is saying what the...how did I get here??? I'm 9 months pregnant and fully dilated, and ready to push. I am going to be a freaking mom! Whoa.
10:30pm-the doctors are in getting all gowned up. Steve hurries back from food with his mom. We are doing some practice pushes and getting a pep talk on the instruments that may need to be used to get the baby out. For weeks they had been estimating her to be around 9 lbs.
10:45pm-start pushing. It's not as hard as I expected it to be. I'm told I'm doing great.
11:04pm-after a total of 9 pushes over about 10 minutes, we have a baby girl ! Not a 9lb girl, but a 5.7lb girl. Guess those estimations really are just that. An estimation. And this time they were way off. I am frantically asking if she has all her fingers, toes, limbs, etc. I'm asking if she is healthy and if she should be crying more. I am assured she is perfectly fine. Steve cuts the umbilical cord, they suction out her mouth, and she is laid on my chest. Finally, after waiting for and anticipating this moment for what seems like forever, I am skin to skin with my daughter. Talk about surreal. There really is no other word I can think of other than surreal. I am just staring at her, loving her so much, when she poops all over me. And so it starts...
Parenthood has been a trip. Amazing, bewildering, surreal, but mostly just amazingly fantastic. My life has a whole new level to it and I couldn't be happier. I feel like I have been walking around with a sleep deprived perma grin on my face since that moment. And I don't think it will ever leave.

[first family photo]

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

At the ballpark

Enjoying dad's baseball game...




- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

The newest addition

I know it's been forever. This is what we have been up to. I promise to try and write more often, for anyone who reads this :)

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

It's like waiting for Christmas!

Baby girl is just days away and I can't wait to meet her! I can't wait to see what she looks like, what characteristics she gets. Although after the introductions are over I am quite sure I will be overwhelmed and ready to send her back to the oven for awhile.
Every time I feel her move I can't get over how close she is to us but what a procedure it will be to get her to the outside.
SO CLOSE!!!



- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

M-I-A

i have been MIA for the last few months. but for good reason. i have been growing a little creature inside me and it sure takes a lot of my energy! but alas, i am feeling much more back to normal and am now in the phase of being super excited for this new addition to join us in may! we recently found out it's a girl so now the planning can begin. steve is elated about having a little girl. one he can teach to be rough and tough, but get mani/pedi's with too. it is going to be so fun to see him be a dad. i think i saw a few grey hairs sprout up when the ultrasound tech told us it was a girl :) we had originally thought it was a boy, but i really didn't have strong feelings either way. the token boy would be nice to have, but let's face it. girls are so much more fun to accessorize :)

life is definitely going to be changing for us and we couldn't be happier about it. we still have moments of panic as to whether we are really ready for this, but i'm not sure you ever feel truly ready.

in other news, steve finished up his first semester back at school. he is going to the university of utah and enjoying the half tuition benefits of being an employee there. if only we could use his half tuition and my half tuition to get free tuition, but no :( he's majoring in sociology and has 2-3 more semesters. he's already registered for another full load so pray we get through another semester. it's always an adjustment going back to school, especially after 10 years! he did great his first semester though so we can't complain.

winter temperatures are here, but the snow isn't. i usually love the seasons and winter included. I'm not going to lie though, i am not a fan of winter this year. everyday, i think about how i wish i was in a warm place with the sun beating down on me and a large body of water nearby to enjoy cooling off in. but if i can just get through this winter, spring and summer are going to be epic. i will not be pregnant and will have almost the entire summer off of work to enjoy being a new mama with the babe and steve, and the dogs. now i just need to find a pool where we can spend all day, everyday. even if we aren't by the beach, I'm going to make sure this darling loves the water like her parents. and secretly, since i became pregnant, i have been yearning to move back to the beach so our little offspring can have the same childhood that steve and i did. there really isn't anything better than growing up by the beach. but i'm biased.

we were able to go to california for thanksgiving which was amazing and much needed. the warm weather, sunshine, family. i loved it all, except when we had to leave. i can't wait to go back with our new addition in a few months!

being back in our house has been great, but it has sure made us want to start in on the projects again. maybe that's just homeownership? i yearn for the day when we own a house that is just how we like it and doesn't require any *major* overhauls. someday...

i am putting off school applications for another year just so steve can take his time to finish school, and we can adjust to parenthood. it's still in the 5 year plan though and i sure hope it all works out. of course i know it will work out how it is supposed to.

i have been terrible about taking pictures and such as of late, but i will be better from here on out. i was seriously WIPED OUT the first few months of this pregnancy. totally not myself and it scared me that i would never be the same in the aspect of being organized and such. slowly, but surely i am getting back to the old list-making, productive woman i once was.

christmas has snuck up on us and i just barely hung a wreath on the front door and put out a christmas welcome mat. that is the extent of our christmas this year. no lights, no tree, no cards, no presents. we are grinch's i guess you could say. maybe i will just decorate for valentine's day a bit early :)

regardless of us being grinch's, we hope everyone has a great holiday season!

Chillaxin

Our house is still in disarray and full of boxes from the move, but we are taking a break to watch some football. This little furball snuck up to enjoy some of it with us.


Just love that furbaby of mine!
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone